Customer Support - Solution Found To US Govt. Shutdown!

US Government Shutdown!

Sleep in Class Without Being Caught!

The Ignore Game - Who's Playing it!

4th of July Jokes

Stay Abnormal!

Superman Joke!

A Topless Chick!

Supermom!!

Where are the Jobs?? - Labour Day

Labour Day - Outsourced to China!

Labour Day - Made in China!

Happy Labour Day, Eh?!!

Wireless!

Fat or Hot?!!

Ten Best MBA Excuses When Caught Napping

1.    They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

2.    This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in my MBA course.

3.    I was working smarter, not harder.

4.    I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

5.    This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

6.    I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan.

7.    This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

8.    The coffee machine is broken...

9.    The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

10.  Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our strategic dilemma.

Love Letter by Maths Teacher!

My Dear Sweet Heart,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with our cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.

I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, You can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

``Your 1LY``

Smart Reply - New Year Resolution

 

 

Tim: Whats your new year resolution?

Sandy : 1920 x 1080 full HD. .. :)

New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep!

Read less.

I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

Watch less T.V. in standard definition

Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.

Watch more movie remakes.

Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.

Procrastinate more.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

Drink. Drink some more.

Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials

Start being superstitious.

Spend more time at work.

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

New Year's Resolutions You Have No Chance At Keeping!!

When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!"

Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.

I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 facebook accounts.

I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!

I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.

I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.

Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.

Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.

I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I’m not in them.

I will think of a password other than "password".